Friday, March 30, 2018

A Letter to Myself

Every morning I wake up and I teach twelve 14-18 year old high school students. Some really have a good head on their shoulders and seem to be in the right space. Others seem to have lost what my mom calls 'the sparkle" in their eyes. They seem lost, wandering and frankly remind me of myself when I was that age. Tonight I just can't seem to get all of them off my mind, especially that 14 or 17 year old Madi who had no idea what high school was going to bring. To her I write this letter.

Madison,

The next decade is going to be the best of times and the worst of times. Life is going to bend you until the point where you feel like you are going to snap. There are so many battles waiting for you. Some you will win gloriously and others will rock your world. If you could see where you are now, I think you'd be proud. A little surprised but for sure proud! I just want you to know that you made an amazing life for yourself and I'm determined to make a future we can be equally as proud of. You graduated, furthered your education, served a mission and married an outstanding man. Sorry, you didn't end up playing for the BYU women's volleyball team. You didn't play college ball at all and I apologize for not reaching that goal for the both of us! I know it was something you really wanted.

Stop being so self conscious. Don't listen to them. I want you to not listen to the kids at school who tease you. They'll give you crap about being Mormon, a lot. Boys will make inappropriate comments and bully you for being a virgin or being prude. You'll find a man who loves you for you and appreciates the special bond of being each other's one and only. Don't listen to the girls who make fun of your frizzy hair, you'll discover mousse and a diffuser. You get a lot of compliments! You're not fat. For goodness sake, you're a size 00. Need I say more?! And don't be self conscious about your small boobs. They'll tease you for that too. You're a late bloomer and you'll get the ones you want, naturally. Trust the process haha.

Most importantly, hold tight. Hold tight to the morals and precepts you were taught you whole life. Don't let stupid, mean high school kids take away the happiness they bring you. Your junior and senior year will be one of the hardest years of your life. Big changes and heartbreak are coming, but it's nothing you can't handle. Remember to say your prayers and read SOMETHING out of the Book of Mormon every day. Do that and the world won't seem like it's falling apart.. well not as much! Don't let the small mistakes lead you to make big ones. Repentance is a beautiful process and needs to be done quickly. See bishop right away! 

You are an incredibly strong and persistent young lady. You honestly can do anything you put your mind to. God loves you. Always remember, always that God is love.

You can do this!

Your future self


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