Before you read my post, watch this video. Her bravery amazed me and I applaud her for being as brave as she is and sharing her story. I apologize for some of her language but her intentions are so very honorable.
First and most importantly I want you to say to yourself "I am a human being, no matter the choices I make, and I deserve to be respected and loved". It does not matter how you live your life or where your life journey has lead you, you are WORTH IT! It does not matter what anybody tells you or what you feel you deserve, you should be cared about and treated with dignity. If you don't believe in God then believe me when I tell you that there is one, you are His Daughter, He only has your best intentions in mind and HE LOVES YOU. He would never want anyone to hurt you or for your life to be miserable. Rape was not your choice or fault and was NEVER in His plan. Sometimes bad things happen and because he lets all His children choose their own destiny, one of His other children chose wrong and affected you in a way that makes God shed tears. You are precious beyond any comparison and you are LOVED.
Second, you are strong enough to move on with your life. If you need help there are rape councilors that are more than willing to help you every step of the way. My favorite place to go when I feel like I can't go on is my Savior Jesus Christ. He loves you and knows exactly the pain you are going through. He helped me get rid of the pain when my best friend Olivia passed away due to someone else choosing to drive under the influence. Bad things happen but He has felt every single moment of hurt you have felt and He can help. There are those who can help you.
Third, do not be afraid to stand up for yourself and put your abuser/offender where he should be. He deserves to feel the consequence for his choice. There are plenty of people in the world that would be more than happy to help you with that! I want you to know that if you don't get justice in this life, God will surely make his life a literal HELL when he passes on to the next life. I can promise you that.
Last, goes out to the rest of society especially to men. No matter how "slutty", "trashy" or "demoralized" a woman can be she is still a human being and deserves to be treated as such. She deserves respect and should never, under any circumstance, be taken advantage of. It does not matter if she is sober or black out drunk if she does not give you permission to have sex of any kind, no matter what hole on her body you want to violate, it is rape. It is wrong.
To those who haven't had to endure the pain of rape/abuse there are ways we can prevent it as women.
1. Try not to go anywhere alone especially if it's a party, club or a night on the town. If you are going alone say to the grocery store or happen to live alone always be aware of your surroundings. Bad things can happen at anytime, whether day or night, and it's not always a guy in a trench coat or a dark and hooded weirdo. Always proceed with caution.
2. Know your limits and never pass it. This means drinking or smoking or anything that would cause you to loose control. If you are going to get black out drunk do it with a bunch of girl friends that you trust in one of your homes. Never ever under any circumstances except a drink from a stranger or go home with him. Promiscuity leads to terrible situations so do everything in your power to avoid them. If you see a woman being approached by a man and she is clearly not able to make good decisions then go up and ask her if she is okay. Then ask the douche bag trying to take advantage of her to get lost and get her a cab. We can prevent so many rapes by simply looking out for our fellow women.
3. Always have your best interest in mind. Think about it. If it's a guy that you have never met and don't know, would it be in my best interest to home with him tonight? No matter if you are under the influence or not you should always think about your safety first. Is walking alone in this dark ally really the best decision for me? Instead maybe I should take the lighted sidewalk where there are more people and public. Is it in my best interest to be so under the influence that any bad in this world will probably happen to me? Have enough respect and love for yourself to always have your best interest in mind.
4. Never give out your personal information to someone that you hardly know. If they can use that to track you or find you then you probably shouldn't give it out. Now I'm not saying to not have fun and take a chance by giving that cute boy your number. Just be cautious when giving it out. Be safe on the internet and always be cautious.
5. Modesty never hurt anybody. Men are VERY visual and thoughts can turn into an action in a second. Present yourself with dignity and self respect. This simple prevention can save so many women. Your body is your greatest treasure so treat it like such! :)
6. Be wise when it comes to your sexuality. My preference is sex under the holy bond of marriage but if you do not share my same beliefs at least be smart when you are having sex. Do not go home with a random guy you met at the club or go looking for trouble. Try your best to keep yourself safe. Being promiscuous is a risky choice so be very very careful ladies! Again have your best interest in mind.
Stay safe and never forget that I love each and every one of you! Together we can prevent rape. Remember that even the smallest light can illuminate the darkest room!
XOXO, Madison
P.S If you are looking for help the website to find a rape councilor
in your area is http://centers.rainn.org/. Also, if you need any additional
help, find a nearest member of the Church of Jesus-Christ of Latter-day Saints
and they can help you find a counselor in the church as well. Go to www.lds.org.
Help is always available! XOXO!
this is such a sweet and honest post! xo
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