Forgiveness

I had a hard time starting this post. The reason being is that I have yet to learn true forgiveness. If you have not read my post "My Life Story" then you should read it first before reading this post. When Olivia passed away the man who hit her died on the scene as well and I never got to meet him. How do you forgive someone who has taken so much and is not even here to see the damage that he caused? How do you forgive someone who is here on this Earth, knows the pain they have inflicted and does not give care in the world? How do you forgive someone who you once loved but they hurt you instead of returning that love? How do you forgive someone who continues to hurt you over and over again? Here are some things I learned about forgiveness..

- Let the person know how you are feeling and do not let it fester! Sometimes people do things that hurt you without really realizing it and their intentions were never to cause pain. I've done that to plenty of people. Once they know how you feel take a deep breath and move on from there. This has saved me many times.

- Forgiveness is not about hearing a sorry. For the longest time I wanted to hear "I'm sorry". The person who hurt you is on a different level then you. Maybe they are ahead or maybe they are behind in the forgiveness process. You never know what is going through their head and they're probably not ready to apologize for what they did. Forgiveness is a choice and only yours to make.

- The ability to forgive has everything to do with what is happening on the inside. The way you talk, think and act towards them. Whenever I was around somebody that hurt me my goal was to try and not think anything negative about them. Of course I was never ever at anytime perfect at this but when you learn to control your thoughts your actions always follow.

- Remember that NO ONE is perfect. It's impossible. We all make bad choices and they never affect just ourselves. Think of a time when you hurt somebody and instead of holding it against you they welcomed you with love and support. Wouldn't you want to be that person? Whenever I get hurt and want to be angry I think of my dad. I mess up so many times and it always has an affect on him. No matter what he always forgives without boundaries and loves without condition.

- Do not rush it. As much as we want to rush things and get it over with we can't with forgiveness. Forgiveness takes time and it takes constant trial and error. It is not perfect. One day you will feel like you are completely over it and the next day it's like it happened 2 seconds ago. It is a process.

- I watch this video every so often when I feel like I can never forgive. It's about 8 minutes long but those 8 minutes will change your life. I was shown this video following Olivia's death and it helped a lot! He is such a phenomenal example of forgiveness.(http://www.lds.org/media-library/video/mormon-messages/mormon-messages-2010?lang=eng&start=13&end=24#2010-07-14-forgiveness-my-burden-was-made-light)

- Look at them through the Savior's eyes. Jesus Christ loves each and everyone of us, knows us by name and died because of that love so that we can return to our Heavenly Father. He is the PERFECT example of forgiveness and we should all follow. Christ looks at us for who we are and for what we have potential to become. Every person is a puzzle and we do not have all the puzzle pieces nor do we need them to forgive. Our loving eldest Brother and Savior made up for all of our mistakes. All he asks in return is that we try our best and keep in mind that everyone else is doing the same thing.

- Lay your burdens at your Savior's feet. He is the only who knows the whole story and exactly how you feel about it. The Atonement did not confiscate for just sin but any hurt that was also cause by that. The guilt, the pain, the loneliness and the anger. All of it. Pray to your Savior and Heavenly Father. They are there to help no matter what!