Day 22

I have exactly 7 days until my papers go in and I could not find a person more fitting than my mom to write about today. She is such an amazing woman. Growing up we did not get a long at all. We would butt head about EVERYTHING. It wasn't until high school that I began to appreciate her and she then became my best friend. Her knowledge and testimony always strengthens mine. Whenever I have a question about the gospel or am doubting my beliefs she always puts me in my place. She went above and beyond to help me get to know my Heavenly Father and Savior. I want to go on a mission so that I can be as knowledgeable as she is and help others become like her as well. I love her laugh and the way she makes others feel. She is beautiful on the inside and out. I know that she will be there for me no matter what choices I make and or how much of a brat I can be to her. I know that her love is unconditional. Her example has pulled me through the harshest of times. Mothers are God's special guardian angels for his little ones and I am grateful for mine! She is my best friend, my confidant, my guardian angel and most importantly my mother! I love you mom and I hope you know that there is a special place in my heart that belongs to you!

Christ Like Reaction

It seems as though when we are having difficult and challenging times we remember our Savior a little more than we usually do. To me that is a testimony that trials are for our own good and have an actual purpose. For the past 3 days I have been down and having a hard time learning how to look at someone through my Savior's  eyes. Shame on me. Naturally I turned to the scriptures for answers on how to better this skill to which I do not have. After doing a little research I came to this spiritual hypothesis. If we react the way our Savior Jesus Christ would the result may, or may not, be freeing for the subject being forgiven but for the donor of the forgiveness. How awesome would it be when the person who hurt you finally decided to say "sorry" and you can say "dude I forgave you a long time ago. It's time we BOTH move on." Here is some of the resources I used for my hypothesis. Maybe it can help you formulate yours?

- I went on to www.lds.org and looked up forgiveness. This website is a great resource for things spiritual and can answer any question you may have. I found this talk given by a past President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. When you have time watch it! It will change your whole perspective.

- I pulled out my scriptures and looked up the in the index "forgiveness". Make sure you spell it right or else you can't find it.. forgiveness is not spelled "firgiveness".. Just saying ;). I came across this scripture in Doctrine and Covenants. (For those of you who don't know what the Doctrine and Covenants is: just like Matthew and John wrote down their commandments given to them by God, so did Joseph Smith making it scripture). The scripture I found was in Doctrine and Covenants 64:9-10 and it reads " 9 Wherefore, I say unto you, that ye ought to forgive one another; for he that forgiveth not his brother his trespasses standeth condemned before the Lord; for there remaineth in him the greater sin. 10 I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men."

- I sat there and I listened to the Spirit. Not kidding I sat there, zoned out and focused on what I was feeling and thinking. (P.S always do this! It helps so much when you are receiving inspiration!)

With these three steps I took to find out how I needed to react when someone hurt my feelings, was being mean to me or bringing down I came to one conclusion. React the way Jesus would. Whenever someone is not being so nice I need to first not judge them. The phrase "that's between you and God yo!" came into my head. I guess that's the spirit saying to chill out and let them make their decisions. Second, don't expect them to apologize. It will be a nice surprise when they do in the future. Lastly, let it go and simply love them. I know it is easier said then done. You don't have to necessarily get along with them or like them. Love them the way the Savior would.

Just a thought... xoxo Madison 

I Want You to Know...

1. I want you to know that your Heavenly Father knows, loves you and has the best in store for you. No matter what you do He will always love you. To Him you are enough.
2. I want you to know that you Savior Jesus Christ know, loves you and is the only person who knows exactly what you are going through. He died so that you can live and follow your dreams. No matter what He will always fight for you.
3. I want you to know that you are worth it. It does not matter if you are trying to get through college, wanting a new dress, going through a break up or struggling with your confidence. YOU ARE WORTH IT! Do not let anyone tell you different.
4. I want you to know that there is someone out there who cares!
5. I want you to know that no matter what decisions you make, where life takes you or how far gone you may seem. You can always come back and kick life in the toosh. You are never too far gone to straighten up, pursue your dreams and a create the life you have always wanted.
6. I want you to know that there is always a storm before a rainbow. Life sucks a lot of the time and that's a fact. God never said it would be easy, He just said it would be worth it.
7.  I want you to know that people will tell you that you can't. They will tear you down and try to build themselves up. Do not forget that you can do anything you put your mind to.
8. I want you to know that unicorns are real..
9. I want you to know that you are awesome. Obstacles are nothing to you. Do not get into your own head and don't let other either. Believe in yourself and keep your chin up.
10. I want you to know I love you!

Xoxo, Madison

Day 15

Today's post is not a person or something that helped me decide to go on a mission. Instead it is something that I realized after I had gotten the answer to serve a mission. Thinking about the recent stages in my life I realized one thing. I had forgotten what mattered most and what I wanted. I forgot that I wanted to go to college, have a temple marriage and create a family with my eternal companion. When you fall into temptation it blurs your eternal perspective and you only see the now. Deciding to serve a mission is the best thing that has ever happened to me and cleared up my view of the future. Although I am not certain what truly lies ahead I can say that I know exactly what I want and will remain worthy to receive those blessings. Now I just have to put in the work!

Xoxo, Madison

Day 13

Day 13 is an expression of deep gratitude for the example and verbal butt whoopins from this woman. Tammy is like a mother to me in more ways than one. I used to get so annoyed when I wasn't going to church or seminary and really loosing my faith in the church. Every once and a while she would message me asking if  I went to seminary or how church was. Over and over again she would ask me if I wanted to go on a mission. Every time I said no she would reply "Well yah should!" At her son's mission farewell, I went to hear her speak in church. SHE IS TRULY AMAZING! Her faith is so strong in the gospel and she always reaches out to those who are struggling. Even when they don't want it! One way the spirit gave me an answer to serve a mission or not was through her. Every night I would ask "Heavenly Father, is a mission right for me? Should I go?" and I would hear "Well yah should!". Thank you Tammy for accepting me no matter the decisions I was making and for always being there for me. I pray my testimony can be awesome as yours! I love you!
Xoxo Madison

Day 12

I am trying my very best to keep up with the days but it is seriously super difficult to find time to blog. Day 12 is about two very special people. My grandparents are such a blessing and major reason for me staying in the church. If you meet my grandma or have ever met her, she is one of the kindest and most caring people you will ever meet. She loves her kids and grand babies no matter what and family always comes first. She never judges and when you need someone to talk to she is always there. She is truly beautiful on the inside and out! My grandpa is the most intelligent, caring and faithful person. He gives the best hugs and no matter what he is always there for you. Both have always come to my volleyball games, dance recitals and never fail to show their support in all that I do. Even though my grandma does the same cheer over and over again, it is always the best hearing her high pitch little voice in the crowd when I get a kill. Their testimonies of the gospel have never failed to strengthen mine. It does not matter what everyone else is doing around or with them, they never budge. Never once have I felt like they didn't love me. They really are my very best friends! I love you Grandma and Grandpa! Thanks for setting the bar so high so that I can become like you guys some day!
Xoxo, Madison

Time Management

Honestly, I am surprised I have learned this lesson already. This week I have not done a single chore around the house and struggled to get my homework done. I procrastinated my studying and essay til 3 o'clock this morning. I only got a few hours of sleep and could not focus on anything today! Taking my test was such a challenge and it scared the crap out of me! I thought I was going to fail! Here is to starting new and awesome habits! Although you can't plan every second of every day there are some things that you can help. Working and going to college at the same time is starting to get exhausting so I am trying some new things starting tomorrow! Care to join me?

1. Get things done when you have free time ASAP. My problem is that I think I can get it done later and when later comes around something always pops up. Moral of the story.. Get it done right then and there when you have time or else it will end up not getting done at all.

2. Do not do homework at 3 o'clock in the morning the day it is due. Instead space it out. Usually I do pretty good with this but this week was just brutal!

3. Get to bed on time. There are so many issues with sleep deprivation and how unhealthy it is for you. Not only does it age you 10x faster but it also creates unwanted habits. Today in my psychology I learned that people who get only 6 hours of sleep have the same level of sugar processing than a 60+ year old man with diabetes does. Scary! You are giving yourself temporary and maybe even long term diabetes if you are not getting enough sleep!

4. Put your phone on your dresser or somewhere far away. When I am done reading my scriptures and saying my prayers I automatically reach for my phone and spend another hour on it! Turn your alarm, on set it across the room, and get to bed!

5. Do not sleep in even if you do go to bed early. I do this a lot. I will go to bed early and sleep in! Then when the next night comes I am not tired and stay up. I have learned that when I do get up and get moving I feel a lot better.

6. Set time aside to prepare somethings at night so you don't always have to do everything in the morning. I pack my lunch, get my school stuff together and make sure I have everything in my purse the night before so I am prepared.

7. Get a paper planner. I know this is a little old fashioned but seriously it has helped me a lot. When I used my phone I would press dismiss and forget about it til 5 minutes before it actually happened. Also writing it down helps me remember since I am such a visual person.

8. Last, don't forget to make family time a priority. If you are like me sometimes this is the only down you will get besides at 3 o'clock in the morning. Treasure it. This time to wind down and spend some quality time with your loved ones.

Join me in creating better time management. Til next post! Xoxo, Madison.

Day 6

Day 6 is here and I am so excited to write about how the man above influenced me to stay active in the church and lead me to the path of serving a mission. I remember one time Randy had picked me up to go over to his and Melissa's house. At that time a lot of things had happened, I had made some not so great decisions and was telling everybody I was serving a mission to get them off my back. I was honest to Randy and told him why I said I was serving a mission and how confused I was. He didn't say anything at first. Then after a moment he said "Madi, it doesn't matter why you serve a mission as long as you go. It will change your life. No matter the reason." As I was praying months later on whether to serve or not for real that conversation popped into my head and what was said ended up being the answer to my prayers. I look up to Randy so much! I watch how he not only says how much he loves Melissa but shows it! His children adore him because he makes each and everyone of them feel special including me. Someday I hope to find a man half as awesome as he is! Thank you Randy for helping me decide on serving a mission. I love you!

Day 5

Life has been so crazy with work and school that I couldn't write days 3 and 4!

Since today is little Wyatt's birthday I thought I would write about how my siblings impacted my decision to serve and change my life. It wasn't until Lilly was born that I decided to serve a mission. Being the oldest of 5 or any number of siblings, you set the standard. You are the example and the person that your younger siblings look up to. I didn't realize that until some of my siblings started following in my not so good footsteps. Then when Lilly was born I came to the conclusion that my siblings deserve a better role model than what I was giving. I made it my goal to give them the best person to look up too. While contemplating on whether to serve a mission or not I thought about Jackson. What would Jackson do? Well knowing Jackson he would say, let's do this! In reality my siblings became my example. They taught me to be a better woman! I love my siblings more than anything in this world. I want to be the best role model for them and show them it is possible to be the best person you can be! It is my hope that on my mission I can learn how to do so and come back a kick butt example for them.

A Letter From Big Sister

To My Little Munchkins:

If I could give advice in my 18 years of triumph and loss, this is what perspective I could offer. I know I am not experienced because I am still a kid myself but if I follow my own advice long ago it would have saved me so many tears and heartache. My only hope is that you will be twice the human being I ever was!

Whatever you do, DO NOT follow the crowd. They are very tricky and make you believe that the lives that celebrities live are extravagant and leisurely. Money can buy most things except true happiness. Drugs and alcohol do not make you more "chill" or "fun". In fact they make you look immature and only lead to worse things. Immorality is not okay. It is not "just a feeling" or something that should be thrown away like a piece of paper. Wait and share that special moment with the one you love under the sacred bond of marriage. You will thank yourself later and so will your future spouse. Immodesty and vulgarity do not make you cool. It does not make you smarter. It does not take you the places you want to go (unless you like dumpsters and if so I'll spank your booty because that's nasty!) It does the exact opposite. Stay pure, be kind and remember that you are a son/daughter of God.

No matter what put Heavenly Father and your Savior Jesus Christ first. If you do this I can promise that you will make better decisions, relationships and your self confidence will soar. When you remember who you come from and who loves you it is amazing how brighter life seems!

Family always proceeds the above. They will be there for you no matter what! Especially our family! Sometimes sissy would forget this and I hurt a lot of people in the process. Don't be like me! You are so much better than that! Mommy and Daddy are only hard on you because they expect great things from you. We all know that you are capable of moving mountains, trust us! We might also push you to do volleyball a little more than other things and that's because we have found so much happiness playing it, both with each other and on teams! If you don't like it tell us though.. We just want what is best for you!

Believe in yourself dang it! I can not stress this enough. Sissy could have gone so far, both in sports and academically, but she didn't because she didn't believe in herself. Now she watches college volleyball players and regrets so much. You are capable of anything you put your mind to. Don't let anybody else tell you different. YOU ARE THE BOMB DIGGITY! Stay true to you and don't forget how incredible you are!

Learn from sister. She messed up. A lot. But that's okay because now you get to learn from those mess ups and create better life for yourself. There was a method behind the madness!

The most important (well to me) is that SISSY WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU! No matter what decisions you make, how you treat me or if you decide to be a democrat. It's okay... well... Sister will try her very best on that last one! Haha. To me you are the most wonderful person in the world. Nothing can change the fact that you are my brother/sister and you are stuck with me for eternity muahahaha! Know that you can always count on me and I will always be here for you. Your dreams are mine, your trials I will help you bare and when all is said and done you will always be able to say "I know my sister loves me and to be honest.. I love her too!"

I love you with all my heart and soul!
-Your Eldest Sister Madison